


Purple Tickets

by takara_twisted



Category: Hiveswap
Genre: Comedy, Competition, Crack, M/M, Orgy, Parody, Public Sex, Song Parody, on television
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:28:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26399431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takara_twisted/pseuds/takara_twisted
Summary: Prompt: "Marvus sets up an orgy by lottery and only 5 of the luckiest, most dedicated fans of his get the chance to join him." The prompterclaimsnot to be familiar with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which naturally I had to rectify.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10
Collections: Sloppy Seconds 2020





	Purple Tickets

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Stickly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stickly/gifts).



_Where to drink some Faygo  
Fresh from tubs of ice  
Pour it in your mouth till ev’rything feels really nice?  
With Xoloto  
On the Xoloto Show_

The jingle played over an advertisement depicting Marvus Xoloto, in full regalia, sailing a boat down a river of purple Faygo. He swept the tops off three bottles - one blue, one green, one scandalous red - and held up all three to pour into his mouth at once, somehow maintaining his winning smile throughout. Some splashed onto his tank top, sticking it to his chest, and the camera pulled in for a closeup. He looked comically shocked for a moment, shrugged, and stripped his jacket and tank top off, naturally leaving his trademark bow tie on.

_Come and taste the rainbow  
See some ass and thigh  
Covered up with geneslime from a multi-hue cream pie_

Jacket sleeves tied rakishly around his waist, he picked up his cane and did a little hopskipping dance step off the boat, onto the grassy bank. Alternia’s carnivorous flora snapped at him and he swept it aside with ease. On the bank was a colourful flip chart, with a picture of a concert ticket printed on bright purple paper with a golden number 5 on it, superimposed over a can of Grub Juice. As the song continued, he flipped the picture to show stick figure trolls drinking Grub Juice, pulling out Purple Tickets, and queueing up at his mansion gates.

_Found inside the tin  
Tickets let you in  
To meet the star, buff and loquacious  
To all the winners he’ll be gracious  
And leave your insides newly spacious_

This line was accompanied by an illustrative fist-pump and wink.

The ad ended with a rapid voiceover announcing “One ticket per customer. Open to all castes. Tickets now printed with non-toxic materials!”, the latter two items both most unusual selling points on Alternia.

If anyone but Marvus Xoloto had sung it, the studio would have received letter bombs over the terrible song. As it was, people were distracted.


End file.
